I don't like working for new security company as much as my original one. Not because of the company, because of the work. They guard things that damn well need guarding. Which means a lot of work for me. On the other hand, I do get a lot more stories out of this job.
Here's one now! =D
So I heard a loud party while I was patrolling. This is fairly unusual for this complex. The walls in this place are pretty thick, the people pretty quite and the damn thing isn't set up like an echo chamber like the last place. Ah well, telling a party to shut up always looks good on my report. Like I'm doin' work and stuff.
So I knock on the door and a tiny 20something woman answers, she is the lease holder so I let her know it's a little loud. She comes out onto the porch to talk to me. She has questions! Lots of them. They are all pretty reasonable honestly, she wanted to know about what was up with four or five of us gathering in front of the leasing office at night (because we're bored and like to shoot the shit there), and other questions like that.
She also wanted to tell me about the 'Crazy bitch who is totally going to get killed by her boyfriend. Really. She will murdered if she doesn't flip out and kill him first.' The whole thing upsets this woman because she has been in abusive relationships before and 'anyone with a vagina' would be upset by this.
Clearly she doesn't understand my distaste for all humanity.
My ability to rejoice in the suffering of others aside, yeah, that sounds important I should probably let my boss know. But she is not done! I get to learn about her feelings on abusive relationships, about how her last boyfriend put a whole in her wall, how the crazy bitch comes out at 6 in the morning to scream at her boyfriend. Honestly the whole thing was kind of fun to listen to.
Talking about relationships lead her to ask me about whether or not I was married. I tell her no. Am I engaged? No. Boyfriend? Nope. Why not? At this point, it's kinda late and I just don't care so I flat out tell her I'm gay, so marriage in Cally is out for me, but that I am in a relationship. This earns me a hug. I am the second gay person she has ever met and I am awesome. And she would totally make out with me.
She as also had about seven shots of tequila.
I learned that people who have had seven shots of tequila are very chatty. This is news to me as I had previously believed that people who have had seven shots of tequila were very unconscious. Honestly, more power to her. I wouldn't have been nearly as coherent after that much. I'm pretty sure I would be dead.
I promise that I will report the domestic and she promises to keep the party down and I go back to my evening. Looking at this I really haven't touched on how entertaining this whole thing was. Like how in the middle of talking to me the party starts to get loud again so she screams at the top of her lungs for them to shut the fuck up cause she is still talking to me.
Oh, and the people she reported? Totally a problem. My co-workers later regaled me with stories, they knew this couple well. I was instructed to call them and not engage either of them myself because they were both off their respective nuts.
Let someone else work? Consider it done!
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