Somewhere to Belong

Harvest Moon check list.

2010-10-27T02:35:00.001-07:00

I just bought a new Harvest Moon, Harvest Moon: Grand Bazaar, and I am... disappointed. Like all fans of the original I am doomed to buy the new ones as they come out and rarely are they worth it. *sigh* But playing it has inspired me to come up with a list of the dos and don'ts of creating a HM game. This is is mostly for my own therapeutic benefit, and really, nobody reads my blog.

The List, in no particular order:

Stepping on Crops: YES.
Especially now that the farms are smaller each game, with such a limited planting space, you have to make each plot count.

End Game: YES.
You know what? I kinda liked these. Goals and conditions that once met, let you win. As much as I like Harvest Moon I do get bored with it after awhile, it would be nice to put it down because I finished it, not because I just didn't want to play anymore.

Time Limit: NO.
On the other hand, I don't like this. In the first game you had about two and a half years, then the game was over. I like being allowed to keep at my farm as long as I like.

Gay Marriage: YES.
I'm going to get shit for putting this on here, but it's my list and I will put what I like on it. The hell of it is, there is gay marriage in Harvest Moon... just not in the American releases. Some of the Japanese release will let you be "best friends" with someone of your gender and they will move in with you, after awhile you adopt a child to raise.

Time Stops While Inside: YES.
Um, yeah. I like it when the clock stops when I go inside. That way I don't have to stress about speeding through taking care of my animals, cooking, shopping or talking to townsfolk.

Mining: YES I like mining. I like having deep mines with strange things like temples on the lowest floor. Of course for this to be win, time needs to stop inside the mine too. You could literally spend days trying to reach the bottom of the mine in versions that kept the clock going.

Jumping: no?
Grand Bazaar lets you jump, and is the first HM to let you do so. I don't know, it's kinda fun, but I never thought of Harvest moon as a game that you needed to jump in. It doesn't help that jumping is needed for three things: jumping in the river hoping to catch stuff in your clothing, jumping up to catch butterflies, and jumping to reach cut off areas. These are stupid, hard and pointless, respectively.

Pick Up and Put Away are the Same Button: YES.
Seriously. I don't know if it was the addition of jumping in this game, but the button mapping is all fubar.

Harvest Sprites: YES.
I love the little guys, and when you get them to like you, they help you out. Of course some versions have way to many of the little fuckers that you have to get to like you. Alright, let me put in a qualifier: 1 - 5 Harvest Sprites = Good. 6 - 150 Harvest Sprites = Too Many.

Decaying Friendship: NO.
I hate decaying anything in any game. I work hard to build something up, and then I have to work just as hard to keep it that way? Bah. Harvest Moon makes you keep a lot of balls in the air, so this can be frustrating as hell.

Buying Basic Tools: NO.
Why? Why should I have to do this? I do I have to wait two weeks and make 8k before I get the goddamn starter hammer? I'm going to spend the rest of the game working to upgrade them, this is just silly.

Power Berries: YES.
These have kind of been phased out and I think that's too bad. I liked the joy of finding or earning one, and being able do so much more than I could at the beginning.

For that matter, Secret Garden: YES.
Flowers magically show up every time you find a power berry, as far as I remember, this was only in the first game. I miss it.

Visible Stamina Bar: YES.
Grand Bazaar is the first game to feature this, and really, I don't know why it took so long. It is VERY helpful.

Stacking Inventory: YES.
All of the games have this now. Good.

Quality of Crops: YES.
Sure, why not? If I water my crops twice a day, federalize them everyday, etc and my crops are better than if I didn't. And therefor, sell for more. Cool. Down side? Different qualities don't stack together. So if I have two star corn and three star corn, that's two spaces in my backpack.

Quality of Ores and Gems: NO.
The difference here is that there really is nothing that I can do to make sure I can get better quality stuff. I can't really water the rocks to get better copper. Also nothing would piss me off more than to smash a hundred rocks to look for a diamond and it turns out to be a half a star or some bull shit like that.

Quality of Random Shit I Pick Up: HELL NO.
I do not need to know the quality of the weeds, rocks and twigs I pick up off the ground. And I certainty don't need to have them taking up so much space in my pack. 4 one star weeds, 5 two star weeds, 2 three star weeds, 8 half star weeds. Really Harvest Moon? Really?

Sending Out and Bringing In Animals QUICKLY: YES.
You want me to put my animals in the sun before they will give me the best milk? Fine. But make it simple. I don't want to spend 3 in game hours pushing one damn cow back in the barn because it's storming outside. By the way it is funny as hell to watch the cows freak the fuck out in a storm.

Upgrading Your Farm: YES.
Of course! This is a core part of Harvest Moon! I want a crappy little farm that I build up into a plantation that is filled with slave sprites that do all the work. It makes no sense to me that Grand Bazaar starts you off in a perfectly serviceable farm.

Buying Furniture/ Stuff to Put in Your House: YES.
You can kinda do this in some of the games, and I have always like it. It adds to the feel of improving your farm and making it awesome.

Modular Farmhouse Design: YES.
This has never been true for a Harvest Moon game, but it should be. Yeah, I can add rooms and floors, but I don't get to pick what goes where, and frankly, I would like to. Then the farm would truly be mine.

Market Place: NO.
AKA, the Grand Brazaar. I don't like it. I have to wait to the end of the week to sell my shit, and even then, some times it doesn't sell. Gah! The point of this game is to grow/ find/ craft this shit, not beg people to buy it!

Changing The Look of the Main Character: NO.
Okay, something of a personal pet peeve, but why? Why keep changing him? In the latest game he looks like a pirate!

Look at him!

And the girl looks like a pink monstrosity herself. Goddamn it Natsume.

Stories from work, Part 1

2010-07-24T02:46:00.000-07:00

Not that I know if part 2 will ever happen, but that was an easy title for now.

I don't like working for new security company as much as my original one. Not because of the company, because of the work. They guard things that damn well need guarding. Which means a lot of work for me. On the other hand, I do get a lot more stories out of this job.

Here's one now! =D

So I heard a loud party while I was patrolling. This is fairly unusual for this complex. The walls in this place are pretty thick, the people pretty quite and the damn thing isn't set up like an echo chamber like the last place. Ah well, telling a party to shut up always looks good on my report. Like I'm doin' work and stuff.

So I knock on the door and a tiny 20something woman answers, she is the lease holder so I let her know it's a little loud. She comes out onto the porch to talk to me. She has questions! Lots of them. They are all pretty reasonable honestly, she wanted to know about what was up with four or five of us gathering in front of the leasing office at night (because we're bored and like to shoot the shit there), and other questions like that.

She also wanted to tell me about the 'Crazy bitch who is totally going to get killed by her boyfriend. Really. She will murdered if she doesn't flip out and kill him first.' The whole thing upsets this woman because she has been in abusive relationships before and 'anyone with a vagina' would be upset by this.

Clearly she doesn't understand my distaste for all humanity.

My ability to rejoice in the suffering of others aside, yeah, that sounds important I should probably let my boss know. But she is not done! I get to learn about her feelings on abusive relationships, about how her last boyfriend put a whole in her wall, how the crazy bitch comes out at 6 in the morning to scream at her boyfriend. Honestly the whole thing was kind of fun to listen to.

Talking about relationships lead her to ask me about whether or not I was married. I tell her no. Am I engaged? No. Boyfriend? Nope. Why not? At this point, it's kinda late and I just don't care so I flat out tell her I'm gay, so marriage in Cally is out for me, but that I am in a relationship. This earns me a hug. I am the second gay person she has ever met and I am awesome. And she would totally make out with me.

She as also had about seven shots of tequila.

I learned that people who have had seven shots of tequila are very chatty. This is news to me as I had previously believed that people who have had seven shots of tequila were very unconscious. Honestly, more power to her. I wouldn't have been nearly as coherent after that much. I'm pretty sure I would be dead.

I promise that I will report the domestic and she promises to keep the party down and I go back to my evening. Looking at this I really haven't touched on how entertaining this whole thing was. Like how in the middle of talking to me the party starts to get loud again so she screams at the top of her lungs for them to shut the fuck up cause she is still talking to me.

Oh, and the people she reported? Totally a problem. My co-workers later regaled me with stories, they knew this couple well. I was instructed to call them and not engage either of them myself because they were both off their respective nuts.

Let someone else work? Consider it done!

Goddamnit!

2009-01-10T00:53:00.000-08:00

Mood: Pissed
Listening to: Gavin Rossdale - Love Remains the Same
Reading: House of Leaves
Playing: Chrono Trigger
ADR B1 Word Count: 13,543

Okay, so it is Friday night and I went to work as normal. But the key wasn't there! Shit! And I forgot my cell phone! Double Shit! Oh well, someone is normally here before me, so I'll just walk around to the back where the door is always open for the other workers, let myself in and call from the inside phone!

Hmmmm- no one seems to be here! That's strange! Oh well, someone will be here soon.

ONE HOUR LATER:

fuck this shit, I am going home to get my cell. I call the office to complain. I am put on hold, okay fine, I have to drive back to work anyway. So around the El Camino exit I get someone on the line!

"Hello, Sharon? NC Times closed that office on the 7th and canceled their contract, didn't somebody call you?"

AAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!

I lost my job and nobody told me. I am this guy.

...

Okay, I didn't get fired or anything, but without a site to go to, I'm not going to get paid, which is the same damn thing basically.

The Traffic Court Saga

2008-09-09T19:44:00.000-07:00

Mood: Ack
Listening to: Rihanna - Disturbia
Reading: Storm Surge - Melissa Good
Playing: A ton of Big Fish games
ADR B1 Word Count: 1,185

So I was able to take the day off (paid no less), to take care of my traffic ticket. I had forgotten to put the reg sticker on the back of my car, because I am a dork. And I had forgotten my wallet, because I am a bigger dork. And I got pulled over, because my dorkyness alerted the police. I got a ticket.

When I went to go get it taken care of, I learn that while the registration infraction was just a fix it ticket, the cop had marked down that I was an unlicensed driver as apposed to simply not having one on me. This required that I go into court and stand before an honest to god judge to get it fixed. It took all day.

On of the funny things about this is that each of these 'trails' lasts about 30 seconds. So they call in a whole room full of people and we line up before the judge.

"Alright, you are in here for registration/ insurance/ speeding/ red light/ sign infraction, do you have your paper work/ how do you plead?"
"yes/no/guilty/not guilty"
"This is good/ this doesn't work/ you owe [$$$] by [date]/this is dismissed. Please see the clerk. Next."

And so went my trail.

On another note, I started writing my story. Maybe if I get it down, it will leave me alone.

Go play some games, if you have so much free time.

What comes after 14?

2008-03-06T13:19:00.000-08:00

Mood: Sleepy
Listening to: Last Firstborn - Celldweller
Reading: The Outlaw Demon Wails - Kim Harrison
Playing: Chrono Trigger

My niece is so cute, she has learned to count to 14, only when she gets to 14 she just keeps repeating 14, until she is done. Every thing is 14 now!

Maybe you have to watch her do it to get the full effect. >.>;;

...

Okay. A dog, from somewhere, just wandered into my office.

And now has left. That was weird.

Anyway... I bought new fish for my tank. I think I should wait a week or two more before I buy my tetras, but for now I have three mini catfish and a sucker fish. The cat fish are spastic but the sucker fish hasn't move from it's hiding place in the last 12 hours. XD

Hopefully later today I can start working on those masks with my mom, if not today then this weekend. I need to get them done soon.

I don't think I've posted this yet.

Fish heads, fish heads, rolly polly fish heads.

2008-03-04T13:24:00.000-08:00

Mood: Happy?
Listening to: Last Firstborn - Celldweller
Reading: The Outlaw Demon Wails - Kim Harrison
Playing: Chrono Trigger

Holy shit, it's been almost a year since I posted here! The would be where I make promises about posting more, but because I wont keep it and no one really cares, I think I will skip that part.

I've started playing Chrono Trigger again... I never beat it the first time, and I am further now than I got the first time! Yay!

My fish have stopped hiding, but it was cute when they were all freaked out. XD I am hoping to get the sucker fish later this week. I think I might post a picture of the tank ~~later~~ now.

This guy is unreal.

So much hate.

2007-05-31T14:16:00.000-07:00

Mood: Angry
Listening to: The construction outside my window
Reading: Nothing - Nobody

Right, so my family is poor. My mother is filing for bankruptcy, and we have no money for food. But my boss knows of a food bank! For a small donation, you can get a whole bunch of food! I am looking forward to eating again.

Or rather, I was.

Bruce was to go get the food, as my mother and I must work (cuz, ya know, we have jobs). But, when he got there, he learned that they didn't have as much food as they normally do, (like, no milk or something). So Bruce forgoes getting some of the food they do have, (mostly dry foods I guess) and instead goes to a grocery store to buy himself some fucking food.

So no food for me, no food for my mother, and much less food for Bruce.

Thanks a lot fucknut.

Also, it wasn't even his money. He has no goddamn money. It was my mother's money he misspent.

I am so, so very pissed off.

Oh yeah, and: Happy Birthday Woodson!

It hurts me right in my walet

2007-03-31T16:25:00.000-07:00

So I am finally on payroll for the Livescan gig. But instead of %15 getting taken out it is more like %21 which is PAIN. I am still within my budget for moving out, but only by about $14...

Also, I did something stupid that pisses me off. I fucked around with my bank accounts, trying to keep $3000 in my savings but still have enough in my checking to play. When Friday rolls around I have $3028 in my savings and about $25 in my checking and 6 total money transfers (the most I can have in a month). Here is the stupid part: LAST MONTH I sent out a check for a doctor's bill from LAST YEAR (they never got around to billing me before) and they finally posted it on Friday, only the check was for $176, which was not in my checking. I had completely forgotten about it because it took so long to post, even better: I have overdraft protection on my account BUT I used all of my transfers this month, so instead the check bounced and I get charged. What's better? If this had happened this Monday, just one business day later, it would have been a new month, my transfers would have reset and the this wouldn't have happened. Goddamnit all, I really fucking hate checks.

My room is a goddamn disaster. I must clean it but I don't know where to start.

What I need is a good backrub.

I so want to do this-

2007-03-16T11:22:00.000-07:00

I read about something cool by a crazy person, it sounds awesome as all get out. But first, an update:

Updating: Sorry, I will try to do better.

Car: Good, but the MPG could be better.

Work: I miss Fridays.

Game: Will is evil.

Car killing Angela: It turns off the passenger side airbag when she rides with me.

Paycheck: Not looking to likely.

Apartment: Guys, we need to set up an appointment.

Hair: I dyed more than half of it black, and few to none noticed.

300: Full of AWESOME and violence.

Okay, also, because I haven't mentioned it here, some guy on dA asked me if I would like to write up a orgfic with him (he writes a chapter from one POV I write another from someone else's POV). I was silly and said yes as long as I didn't have to come up with the story- then I asked for an outline.

Then I had to explain what an outline was.

So that is not moving along to quickly, but we will see if it ever gets around to happening.

So, for what I was talking about at the beginning of this post- I meant something called Lucid Dreaming. It sound like shit loads of fun to me! heh. Good read, I don't feel like typing about it.

Of course, this person is just bat shit crazy.

Does it make me bad?

2007-03-06T13:27:00.000-08:00

Mood: Embarrassed
Listening to: Korn
Reading: Eye of the Strom - Melissa Good

I have been forgeting to post... well not forgeting really... just not getting around to it. Sorry!

Anyway, Friday nights look like they are going to work out for me. At least it was easy enough the first night... My only problem is that Friday was my hang out night, I am really going to miss having that. Oh well, can't turn down $250 extra a month can I? It isn't as scary as I thought it was going to be, the people at the bar don't seem to be intrested in crossing the street to come annoy me, and I have a little more to do at this place so I am not as bored.

As for apartment hunting, I think we have a place we want. We just need to see if they will have an apartment open when we want to move out.

I need to start paying rent at my house... not because my mother asked for it, but because she needs the money and I am getting concerned. I wish she hadn't invested in those houses.

My new car is trying to kill Angela.

Here it is, your moment of zen.

I can't think of a clever title.

2007-03-01T10:17:00.000-08:00

Mood: Conflicted
Listening to: 30 Seconds to Mars
Reading: Bone - Jeff Smith

So I finily got the new car! Weeeee!

Now to see how it will fuck my insurence! Waahoo!

Hmmmm, I'm not to upset about the insurence, really, but I am kinda sad about my old car. I feel like I have abandoned it. I hope it goes to a good home. *sigh*

On the plus side, I got more hours at the guard job, so that right there takes care of my car payment, more or less. (a little less- $10) AND I was told March 15 for getting me on the payroll for the livescan job, we shall see.

Count Down to Payroll: 14

OMG! So cute!

Full of Smut and Happy Endings

2007-02-25T15:48:00.000-08:00

So most of you guys already know that I decided to buy a new car. But it is something that deserves to be up here anyway. Hopefully I can get that car that Shelby is helping me with.... but I am going to either need the credit union that I bank at to say I have credit or get my mom or brother to co-sign for me. *sigh*

I want this car, it is so fun to drive. and there is nothing wrong with it! Very unlike the car I have... *sighagain*

I will also note that I am typing this little blog on my new portable keyboard that works with my palm. It rocks ass. Though... typing on it is a little like trying to sit at a desk for first grader. >.<

The books that I ordered with it are full of smut and happy endings. Huzzah.

Fear it bitches.

And now I cry

2007-02-23T13:07:00.000-08:00

What the fuck.

Hey everyone! Guess what happened to me last night! I got my car broken into!

GODFUCKINGDAMNITALLTOHELL

I get home, and start getting ready for bed when I hear my car alarm go off. I look out the window and don't see anything... So I head down to check on my car and what do I find? The fucking widow is broken.

It looks like nothing is missing and I call the sheriff and a patrol officer comes by to file a report, then I tape up my window, move the fucking thing and go to bed.

Some time later another patrol car pulls up. They found my purse!

FUCK

To top it off the Benadryl I had taken wasn't letting me wake up, so I was confused, unable to think straight and acting bitching instead of thankful. Eh. At least they found the damn thing and nothing was missing from that. My check book was still in it so they couldn't have been to savvy.

So I am going to get my window fixed, for only $174!

Fuck everything.

The corruption spreads.

2007-02-20T13:27:00.000-08:00

So I got Kyle and Viola to start a blog too! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Erm. Right.

Anyway.

So we got around to looking at apartments finally yesterday. I like the Shadowridge ones, but I want to look at the Sycamore ones again too. Meh. Which ever is cheaper. >.> No game tonight, so maybe I will wander by and grab a flyer w/ price lists.

Hmmmmm, not much else to say.

Behold the descent into maddness.

Climbing the walls

2007-02-18T17:16:00.000-08:00

So I am stuck inside for the second day after having my friends bail on me. Me and Jesse didn't go apartment hunting yesterday because he had to wait for someone who, it turns out, was never coming. And today, Woodson has to do homework and cannot work on the manga.

Bah.

But I talked to Viola, she thinks that she might be transferring to Cal State SM, down here, but she doesn't want to live at home. While talking to her about how much it costs to live I mentioned that she could sleep in a sleeping bag in a corner of my room for about $100 and she could be my live-in ~~sextoy~~ maid.

She stated that she would fear getting molested in her sleep. I told her that we would stay up all night talking like a never-ending slumber party. I picture something like this:

"Sharon, what is that buzzing noise?"
"Uh, it's nothing, shut up."
"Jez, could you at least stop the bed from squeaking?"
"Do you have any WD40 on you? No, i didn't think so. Didn't I tell you to stop talking?"
"I am sleeping in the living room."
"Tell Woodson hi."
fwapfwapfwapfwap
"Damnit."

Good times, good times.

Also, this link is about as work safe as ass-less chaps. But, that thing she is wearing is hot.

Shhhh! I'm huntin' 'partments!

2007-02-17T11:28:00.000-08:00

So Woodson didn't get into gradschool. I'm sorry Woodson.

On the plus side now we have a third person! Yay!

So today me and Jesse are going to go look at apartments 'cause Woodson has to work. We think that as soon as Woodson has a second job that we will make enough. So that means it is time to start saving like a fiend.

Also, we have no fucking soap for laundry. WTF. I only gave my mom $800, so I guess that is no reason to expect that she has extra money to buy detergent. I guess I will have to get some my fucking self. >.>

Blood Sisters Disappoints Me

2007-02-16T10:51:00.000-08:00

Okay, so most of my friends have already heard this, but I felt like writing it anyway.

I just got this book Blood Sisters, which has 18 short stories about vampires and lesbians. Okay, so I probably wont like them all, but with 18 stories chances are good that some of them should be good, most okay, and some bad, right?

Wrong.

There is one, just one story with a happy ending and maybe two that didn't end with someone bleeding and crying.

I was complaining to Woodson about this and he ask what I really expected. I told him that if there were really vampires then, yes most of their stories would be sad and emo, but because vampires are fake every damn story can end in rainbows and joyness, because fiction doesn't need to be real, and I wanted more happy endings.

He said that I expected to much. To much! A happy ending is not to much to ask! I don't read erotica to get depressed goddamn it!

Oh well, I guess I will just have to wait for 'Stake Through the Heart' to come out. I have read books by these authors before, all happy endings. So there.

Edit:
I just looked at Amazon and 'Stake Through the Heart' is out! I must buy it!

Goddamn

2007-02-15T11:00:00.000-08:00

So I made this really pretty webpage for Comics from a Sketchpad right? Right.

Well, I just figured out it looks all fubar'ed in explorer cuz of coding differences. In Firefox if the whole table takes up 100% of the page and one of the columns takes a set amount like 800px, then the other columns take whatever space is left over. Not so in IE! The set amount is completly ignored! The columns are edited to take whatever space they fucking want to! So I have to rewrite the whole fucking thing! Joy!

I hate you IE. I hate you so much it is unreal.

Blarg

2007-01-31T15:00:00.000-08:00

I have nothing really to say other than I am bored.

Bored.
Bored.
Bored.
Bored.
Bored.
Bored.
Bored.
Bored.
Bored.

And now you know!

Vroom Vroom

2007-01-24T21:17:00.000-08:00

I got my car back!
I got my car back!
I got my car back!

Yay!

Oh, so most know that my car got squooshed this Thanksgiving, but now I can dance, my car is back! And it only took 6 weeks! *cry*

Everything is all paid off, now I just have to see what my insurence looks like. x_x

And I also put up a new avi image because the emo one no longer amuses me.

Strip Clubs Rule

2007-01-07T17:42:00.000-08:00

I got molested by a stripper.

It was awesome.

But let us start at the beginning: Friend Kyle is home from the Navy for the week, so we decide that he must go to a club. When all is said and done, most of us must work Friday night, so only Kyle, Viola and myself are free.

We drive, park, walk, get lost, ask a cabbie for directions, walk more then get to the club. Now, I am 23 and Kyle's military ID does not actually have his DOB on it, but baby Vi is only 19. The club is 21 and over. D'oh.

As we walk back to the car, we ponder what to do. It is late and most places that are not closed will be soon.

Kyle calls someone he knows to ask for ideas.

How 'bout a strip club? They're 18 and up.

Sure, why not? Sounds entertaining. But we don't really want to go to a seedy one. Is there a nice one?

Deja Vu is a good one. It is right up the freeway too.

Well all right, lets go there.

Vi is old enough for that place! When we get there we have Kyle walk in first while me and Vi worked on our nerve. It is $20 to get in, so I spot Vi the cash. Grumble.

The inside is more or less what I thought it would be. A few (the place was not that big) rows of chairs facing a stage with a nekkid female waving her backside at the watching males. After maybe two sets (two songs, one stripper in a set) we are approached and asked if we would like a lap dance. "I can do two at once!" A lap dance? Really?... Okay. Kyle and me follow her into the back (off to the left rather) and into what I would later learn is the VIP room for a shared lap dance. Watch our stuff Viola!

Each song is only about two minutes long so she says she is going to wait until the next song starts. We chat a bit. "Where ya from? Been here before?" and such.

She exclaims that she gets to pop both our lap dance cherries. Now I don't, or didn't, really understand how all this worked, but I got the idea from movies, tv, books and things that you aren't really supposed to touch the strippers. Mostly you sit still with your hands to your sides while they wiggle in your lap vaguely to the music. It turns out this is mostly true.

But good ol' Jasmine was a rule breaker.

She started out asking us if we liked her butt. Kyle and I agree that it was indeed a fine butt. Would we like to touch it? It seems we would. From there we were writhed against very nicely. Then she knelt down in front of me, put her face in my crotch and bit me. Not hard or anything, it didn't hurt.

Nope. Didn't hurt a bit.

She did the same to Kyle. He didn't look in pain either. 'Course I could be wrong. Wasn't much looking at him.

But that wasn't the molesting part.

After the dance is over, we go apologize to Vi for leaving her alone and watch some more dancing. We talk about which girls dance well or look pretty. They were all better looking than I would have thought. Later they run a special. 2 lap dances for $30 (normally 1 for $20) and a free DVD of porn. Jasmine asked if we wouldn't like another. Well I feel bad about leaving Vi again so Kyle goes alone.

I go when he gets back.

Now I get molested.

Small children should leave the room now. Although, this next section does have two parts. A more and less explicit version. The less is further down the page, look there. For everyone else, on to the smut!

Well, one of the first things she does is reach down my shirt and pull out my boob and suck on it. My brain short circuits at this point, so I can’t really give an account of how I felt or what I was thinking because... well I wasn’t thinking anything all too coherent. Mostly: Yay!

After that, she pulls down her ‘dress’ and lets me return the favor. It doesn’t last long, but the songs are only about two minutes. There is further writhing and rubbing on me. Then she sticks her hand down my pants. Again, this doesn’t last long, just long enough for me to think, ‘holyshitshehasherhandinmypants.’ More rubbing, mostly her facing away from me and butt to crotch with her head on my shoulder. Then song over.

*whimper*

I go back out. Some time during all this I hear Kyle come back and think, ‘dork left viola alone again.’ And I so find Vi by herself.

Sorry Vi.

Soon Kyle comes out and asks me for money. So I go to the ATM and think, hell, might as well take out $60 and get another lap dance, right? Right.

I loan Kyle his $40 so he can go to the VIP room, and I go beg Viola to be allowed to get another. She says okay, because she is a good friend and thinks it is funny to watch me go talk about it.

For the last dance the boobage does not happen again. But her hand goes down my pants again. Huzzah! For the rest of the song her hand doesn’t leave my crotch much, which is fine as my hand doesn’t much leave hers. It is like pseudo-legal soft-core prostitution!

This is not proper lap dance etiquette, by the way. So don’t try this with your own stripper.

~~~~~~~~~LESS EXPLICIT VERSION~~~~~~~~~

She stuck her hand down my pants!!! Woooowooowooooo!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We all leave the club broke, and at least Kyle and I think it was worth it. Viola enjoys rolling her eyes at us.

Classified Crazy

2006-11-28T16:04:00.000-08:00

'Kay, so we all know that Kyle is in the navel intelligence school, or whatever it is called, right? Right.

Well, all of the workbooks that he gets in class are classified, thus so is the information in them. Kyle doodles in class. On the workbook.

All of his doodles are classified.

Original characters, Salor Moon, Pretty Sammy and even my little Ninja Kitty are all CLASSIFIED now.

How cool is that?

Kids are cute, when they are someone else's.

2006-11-21T00:07:00.000-08:00

Two stories for one!

Me and Angela (shut up you grammer nazi) were getting some food at her house. Her two nephews were eating at the counter behind us. They were babling back and forth at each other and they started up on whether or not Angela has a boyfriend.

"Does not!" "Does too!" "Does not!" "Does too!" "Does not!" "Does too!"

"I do not." Angela told them.

"Oh"

"Well," the nephew who insited Angela had a boyfriend was not to be undone, "She has a girlfriend." One small finger pointed at me.

"Girls can't have girlfriends!" The other nephew exclamed! (and more!!!!!!)

At this time Angela pulled me out of the kitchen and up to her room, so she could close the door and laugh herself silly.

Story the second:

I was at work, this woman came in with a gaggle of kids. Normally this would bug the crap out of me, but it seems this woman was actually a parent and her kids were well behaved. But this didn't stop them from being curious. They were fasinated by the "Innocent Until Proven Guilty" poster. So while I was working on their mom, one of the littler ones ran up to ask her mom in a excitied whisper, "Mom, mom is Jesse Jackson related to Micheal Jackson?"

Link to the poster: Click me all night long.

You see that big body of water? Thats the ocean.

2006-11-17T10:46:00.000-08:00

I get this phone call at least once a day.

Caller: "How do I get to your location from Grand and Jefferson?"
Me: "Well, you need to head east on Grand-"
Caller: "Is that right or left?"
Me: "I don't know which way you are facing... So I don't know if you need to turn right or left."
Caller: "Oh... um..."
Me: "East is away from the ocean."
Caller: "Oh! Right!"

Good God people.

Whining and Poetry

2006-11-15T13:40:00.000-08:00

Maybe I should call this the rant and whine board.

I was just thinking of something that I could right in here, a pet peeve that has always annoyed me... but when I sat down to write it, it seemed so stupid to complain about. *sigh*

Anyway. I did think of something to put up here... I had to right a poem for creative writing class about losing something, so I wrote about my cat. I hadn't decided if I wanted to show people yet, so I guess I will just post it up here and let people read it if they want. Writing poems about dead pets makes this blog all very chessy and emo, which works well with the picture I put for my avi.

Fucking thing still makes me cry though.

~~Chester

He runs when he sees me
And I give chase
I always catch him
I am bigger than he is
I will lock him in my room
He doesn't like to play
It is hard to fit a squirming cat
In doll clothes
Even Harder
To keep him in the stroller

I grow out of it
Other things to do
He likes me more
When I don't torture him
Sleeping on my bed
Sitting in my lap
A scratch behind the ear
As I walk by
Rubbing legs tripping me
Underfoot gets stepped on
Stop it
Sits on my homework
Between me and my book
Go away

He is old
Bony and Slow
His fur is thin under my hand
He sleeps in the sun
On the couch
On the chair
Leaves food in the dish
He purrs at the vet
Arthritis keeps him on the floor now
He meows when I come home
Still wants to play
Gets tired quick
I buy him treats
Hold him that night
Back to the vet in the morning
He purrs again
Before he sleeps

Hello World

2006-11-14T22:25:00.000-08:00

Moof.

And now that I have created this, I can think of nothing to write.

Well then. Don't I feel silly.

I guess that I shall rant and rave enough later to make up for the lack.